Posted in Relationships - Online Dating

Getting to Know You

Now because I’m a counselor, I meet new people all of the time.  I’m used to asking enough questions, the right questions, to learn about a person in 50 minutes.  I take notes.  I write down the important things and the out of the ordinary things that a person shares with me.

I can remember my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Woodward informing us that we’d be writing a book report every week for the whole school year.  I was thinking to myself, ‘what have I done to get this teacher!’  That meant I’d have to read an entire book and write about it every single week.  That’s like a million weeks in a school year.  It seemed a daunting task.  But today, October 22, 2011.. I thank Mrs. Woodward for impacting my life.  For teaching me a love of reading.  Teaching me to take notes about the important things.  And most of all, for allowing me the opportunity to love writing.  Thank you Mrs. Woodward.

Here’s what I learned in that first phone conversatin with Hawk.  First of all, he is a very healthy and active 71, quite a bit older than I am. He’s a widow.  He met and fell crazy in love with his second wife.  They had been married only a couple of years when she got cancer.  He cared for her and loved her dearly throughout her illness.  I also found out that Hawk is still crazy in love with her.  Hmmm, I wrote this down and underlined it… twice.  After they married he built her a home in a beautiful small town in eastern Iowa.  Rolling hills, gorgeous colors, and fertile farmland with bountiful crops.  He lives about two hours away.

Hawk loves to bike ride several days a week on nature trails in the area.  He has a red mustang and would love to take me for a drive in the country.  It would have been perfect to have his company this weekend in Winterset as I drove the country roads looking for covered bridges.

It was late when our conversation ended.  As I got ready for bed, all of the things about this silver-haired Hawk were running through my mind.  I could imagine weekend drives, hand in hand hikes in the woods.  I drifted off to sleep imagining a crisp blue sky overhead as we meandered through the limestone bluffs along the Mississippi River in his red mustang.

I consider myself to be a pretty spontaneous person for the most part.  I do however have my share of routines.  One of them happens first thing in the morming.  Coffee and computer.  This morning, like most others I make my coffee and log onto my laptop.  I sign on to my email.. the usual array of horoscopes, ads from my shopping venues, and…  what’s this?!  A new nessage from the dating site.  Open new screen..  sign onto the dating site.. holy cow!  Several browsers have viewed my profile and I have a wink and an email.

This part of my life, I call ‘Sampling’.  It’s like getting a huge heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day.  You’re amazed at getting the gift, shocked because it’s so big, and overwhelmed when you open the box and actually see all of the options.  So many different sizes, shapes, flavors, and shades of chocolate.  Where to begin.  Ahhh, I can hear Julie Andrews now…  “Start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start.  First you begin with Do- Re- Me.”

Sockie-footed, I scramble to get The Binder

I reach for a few new sheets of paper. ( Have to write down the important things.)  Refresh my coffee and the computer screen.  The first new sheet added to the binder is for “Lucky“.  He also lives two hours away, he’s 65 and divorced.  His profiles says he’s a true gentleman, that he’s talkative, loves movies and eating out.

Lucky sent me an email that says,  “I love your picture and I’d like to talk with you.”

The second page added to the binder is for “Coach.”  Coach is 50,separated,  bald with blue eyes, loves witty conversation and laughter, he’s athletic and lives two hours away.  There seems to be a pattern here.  I actually have neighbors.. I don’t live two hours from civilization.  Apparently there aren’t any single guys that live in the vicinity.  Coach has sent me a wink.  Because I don’t think things through completely before I act, I call it being spontaneous.. others call it being impulsive… I don’t care what you call it, I clicked on the WINK button.

Then I went back to Lucky’s profile page.. and I sent him a short email..  “Thank you for the compliment, it would be fun getting to know you.”

All of the caffeine and the rush of having so many options, forced me to promptly call my girlfriends.  They needed details.. and there are so many.  I think I should get a conference-call option on my cell phone.

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