Posted in Relationships - Online Dating

Blind Date

Every day there would be new ‘browsers’ on the dating site.  I’d look at their pictures and read their profiles and I’d try to imagine what a date with each one would be like, according to the interests and activities that they’d have posted.  It was the consensus though with almost all of the men viewing my profile that rap is not a music choice.  Most of the men viewing my profile are in their mid-40’s through age 60.  So not appreciating rap is probably an age-related factor.  I knew however, that I wouldn’t be attending any rap concerts on dates.

The biggest portion of the men on the site would post a picture of themselves with either a motorcycle or a fish.   A few had pictures with their adult children and grandchildren.  What I realized is that most men don’t take a lot of pictures of themselves.  It’s really unfortunate, because even though men are rather known for being ‘visual’ creatures.  Women also like to see who they might be meeting one day.

I did some thinking about dating in general.  In my younger single days I would date with the possibility of finding a mate to raise a family with. To find that one guy who’d stick by me through good and bad.  But dating at mid-life is different.  There are new considerations to keep in mind.  By this age we’ve all got careers, and homes, and family.  We have made lives where we are now.  It’s not so easy for either person to pick up their life and travel a piece down the road.  With the economy being the way it is, finding a new job or selling a house in order to relocate for a new partner isn’t such an easy thing to do.

Another consideration is that by this age, everyone has had a broken heart or two.  Relationship battle scars caused by a divorce or by being widowed as in Hawk’s case.  You can tell from the phrases that they use in their profiles what their scars are from.  If they say they want a one man woman, it’s generally because their former partner cheated.  If they say they want an honest woman, it’s more than likely that there were some lies and secrets in their old relationship.  If they say they are looking for friendship first with the possibility of something further.. they have no intention of getting into a relationship.  If they say that want a drama-free woman, they’ve more than likely not mastered conflict management.

Money is another sticky topic.  Dating isn’t cheap.  Even before you meet someone.. you pay a fee for a dating site if you want to communicate with other members.  On most of the dating sites you can browse for free. But if you want to leave an email or respond to one.. you have to pay the fee.  Then there are the incidentals you don’t think about.. like dating clothes, a new cut and color, manicure/pedicure.  Looking exceptional is important.. those first impressions are critical.  It’s what determines whether there will be a second date or not.  I’ve found that men also pay particular attention to your car.  What are you driving?  What year is it and how many miles are on it?  And they’ll comment if they think you might be needing new tires.  Having a clean car inside and out became a focus, because I knew they’d be looking.

It’s funny how my mind wanders from one topic to another as I drive down the road.  I was trying to occupy my nervous self as I bravely went to meet Hawk.  I was truly a ‘blind date’.  I’d never seen a picture of him.  Yet, here I was meeting him in a matter of minutes.  I stopped at a convenience store as I drove into town.  I stretched as I got out of my car and made my way to the ladies room.  I took a moment to primp.  Gave myself a mini pep talk and bought a pack of gum.  Fresh breath.. check.  Then I headed for The Little Brown Church.

Just as I got back on the road, my cell phone rang.. it was him.  I thought he was calling to back out, but instead he asked, ” where are you?” I told him I was almost to the church.  It had been years since I’d driven through this little town.  But I was certain they hadn’t moved a historical site.  A little curve in the road, and there it was.  I pulled into the parking lot.  Hawk said he was at a convenience store near the highway.  I didn’t share that I’d just left there.  We’d probably just passed each other on the road, lol.  He said he’d see me in a minute.

Hawk arrived in his new silver pick up.  He’d shared on the phone that he’d picked it up just a couple of days ago.  I could see his outline as he pulled in next to my car.  My heart was beating a little faster than usual, and I tried to swallow, but it didn’t work.  Hoping I wouldn’t drool or choke on my gum,  I waved at him and opened my door.

Hawk is tall.  Since I’m short, I’m used to people being taller than I am, but his physique is tall and strong just like his profile name indicates.  I reach up as he reaches down and we hug.  It felt so good to feel his warmth.  I’d heard it so many times during our marathon conversations. But now its was wrapped around me.  I can’t stop smiling as he squeezes me tight.

His attention quickly turns to his new truck.  For lack of a better focus in such a nervous moment.. I went with it.  I admired each feature that he pointed out.  Hawk was very proud of his truck.  Our nervous tension dissipated quickly though as we talked.  He held my hand as we walked around the truck together.  Finally, we agreed to sit awhile.  We spent an hour and a half chatting as we had done many times.  Then when it was time to go, Hawk kissed me softly.  He walked me to my car and said we’d talk again tomorrow.   I was still smiling as I drove away.

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