Posted in Relationships - Online Dating

Roger, Over and Out

I have my 9-year-old son with me half time and we have a great time together on our weekends.  We plan lots of fun things to do.  He loves to go fishing.  But he also wants to be a storm chaser ever since he watched the Twister movie.  I guess at 9, you should leave your options open.   Like his mom, he’s a movie lover.  For him, I think it has something to do with all of the treats, lol.

I also enjoy my single-woman weekends.  Sometimes like yesterday, I go to an event or a lunch or shopping with my girlfriends.  During this past year on my own I’ve tried a lot of new things.  These weekends are also the times that I have to date.  So having two dates in a weekend means four dates in a month’s time.  Not really that much when you look at the big picture.

Today I’m driving to meet Lucky in his town.  At our first meeting he came to my town, the next time we met about in the middle for lunch.  So it’s my turn to drive there.  I’ve never been to this town before, so for me it’s a new adventure.  When I pull into town, I always find the first gas station so I have a chance to stretch and regroup before the date. I was quite amazed to see the town was much bigger than I’d expected.  It’s a town with a proud heritage.  Many of the shops and restaurants were traditionally named and decorated.   When I was all set, I called Lucky and he drove to meet me there.  He always welcomes me with a huge smile and I can see the excitement on his face.  I have to say, that feels very nice.  After a hug or two, I followed him to his apartment.  He gave me the tour.  It was nicely decorated, not what you’d expect as a typical man’s place.  But it reminded me of something.  I realized that it reminded me of an older person’s apartment.  I don’t mean this in an offensive way at all.  Simply an observation.  My apartment is a mixture of 9-year-old this and that, and my books, journals and writing things.  It’s amazing the things you can tell about a person from their ‘space.’   After the tour, Lucky and I sat in the livingroom and he showed me a couple of photo albums of his family and a variety of different awards he’d received through the years.

Lucky had been telling me about a particular restaurant in town that specialized in German BBQ.  I’d actually never heard of this type of food, but thought we should give it a try.   The restaurant is of a very German decor with heavy dark woods and a burgundy color theme.   The booth we sat in had an oldtime jukebox right there at the table so that you could choose dinner music.  After we ordered our dinner, Lucky held my hands on the table and we made small talk.  However, I think as Lucky was being observant of not giving too much private information, it seemed that at times there were awkward silences.  Where neither of us had anything to share.  Like there weren’t any connecting points now.  Soon I could smell a fantastic aroma as one of the waitresses walked by with plates heavily loaded with hot food.  Lucky was right, we had an exceptional meal.

After dinner we drove through town and he pointed out various places he’d been and historical landmarks.  But in the quiet darkness of the car I began to feel out of place.  As if I knew that I didn’t belong here.  Not that there was any particular thing that Lucky did wrong,  I just wasn’t feeling the same excitement and connection that he seemed to be feeling.  I knew he would be disappointed and maybe even hurt.  And I really didn’t want to have that conversation.  But I also didn’t want to lead him on to think there was something special growing between us.  That would have been much more cruel.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try to be kind, there just isn’t an easy way to disappoint someone.  As I began talking, Lucky could sense what was coming.  I wanted more than anything not to hurt his feelings.  But I didn’t succeed at all.

From time to time I still get a call from Lucky.  It’s always nice to catch up.  He is doing well and has moved on to other dating options.


3 thoughts on “Roger, Over and Out

  1. dearest smiles, seems you are on quite a journey of your own! 🙂

    may all the experiences unfolding before you provide you what your heart calls forth…always follow your heart, it the soul’s compass

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