Posted in Relationships - Online Dating

Winkin, Blinkin (and of course), Nod

I was glad that Monday came.  This particular single-woman weekend ended on a low note.  But no need to let it get me down.  There are ‘Plenty Of Fish’ in the sea as they say.  In fact that very dating site put me in touch with a few options.  My conversations with Winkin are nearing the point of meeting in person.  So in two weeks when my next single-woman weekend occurs, I should have a date.  Winkin is a very intellectual and cultured man.  I love the stimulating conversations that we have.  He is an animal lover and has a cat that he shares his home with.

Blinkin has stopped by for an online visit this morning too.  He works some extended hours so sometimes and has to juggle his time off a little bit.  He shared about his adult daughter that lives with him.  Blinkin described himself as an ‘average’ guy.  I’m never sure about what that means.  Is it that he doesn’t find anything special about himself, that he’s not spectacular in some respect, or is he really creepy and aiming high?  It’s a puzzlement, but I’ll keep you posted.  We did have a nice conversation about the similarities in our life experiences and jobs.  Then he gave me a very unique FYI.  He said that he has some dental issues but he’s getting them resolved.  It seemed an odd thing to share, but I told him I’m sure it wasn’t a problem at all.

During my free time each week, I invest some time, energy and even money in these budding relationship options.  I learned that people invest in the things in their life that matter to them.  To me relationships matter.  As I’ve ventured out into the dating world, I’ve worked pretty hard at making a good impression.  Being friendly, kind, interested, and funny.  I put myself out there and share honestly and openly with the people I’m trying to get to know.  There’s no point in lying or hiding truth.  Afterall, you never know what a meet & greet will turn out to be.  Frankly, many of the meet & greets turn out to be the only face to face interaction you’ll have.  However, they’re still very valuable.  I learn from each person I meet.  I learn what I like and don’t like.  I get practice in dating skills.  It’s not like there’s a class you can take.  And let me tell you.. a meet & greet can turn south in just a few seconds if you don’t know how to take the wheel and steer in those critical moments.

The money investments in dating are pretty equal for both the men and for women.   Grooming is critical!  You can’t give this enough focus.  The first few minutes in someone’s presence is what makes or breaks the possibility of something more.  So I work to take care of myself.   I’m not perfect by any means of the imagination.  I’m middle-aged, short and not especially thin.  I prefer to call my physique curvy.  (Lol.. it’s more appealing than round or pudgy or fat.)  I clearly post pictures on my dating profiles so that there are no misrepresentations.  If  a guy is wanting a skinny mini.. he can tell from my picture that he needs to keep looking.   Let’s face it, by middle age all sorts of physical changes have occurred for both women and men.  Men are losing hair, have love handles or tummies, grey hair, and wrinkles.  Us girls are absolutely no better off.  We have gray and thinning hair that we camouflage in a multitude of ways.  We have fine lines.. okay let’s be honest.. we have wrinkles, and sun damaged skin.. me, I have freckles by the truck load.  And of course everything that was once ‘perky’ isn’t anymore without the help of underwires.

So when you add up the costs of mani/pedi’s, cut and color, moisturizers, hot waxing brows and upper lips it’s an investment.  Not to mention make up.. omg! Of course we haven’t even gotten to those new clothes you’re gonna need for date nights.  My typical wardrobe is work related.. nothing flashy, nothing low-cut or too short.  Professional.  Well, there are a lot of  guys on the sites who ask me what I’m wearing.. so I’m tellin’ ya they notice, it matters.  Then if you ever get to the point of needing lingerie.. you’ll have another investment to make.

I’ve had conversations with guys on the sites about the expense of dating.  How much it costs to drive to meet her, buy drinks and dinner, only to never see her again.  I seriously feel their pain.  By the time I get a cut and color $70  and a  mani/pedi $35 I’m out over a hundred bucks too.  But in all fairness, I personally have made the effort to drive up to two hours for a meet & greet.  In the past year I’ve racked up a ton of dating miles and the guys at the garage where I get my oil changes,  well, I think we’ll be exchanging Christmas gifts this year, lol.

So when a guy complains of the wasted money and not even having a real date.. I tell them that they need to get better acquainted with a woman before a meet & greet.  I certainly don’t meet every man who says hi to me on a dating site.  I’m particular about who I choose to spend my time with.  And they should be too.

As the afternoon began to head toward evening, I met Nod.  He’s quite a character.  We had a fun little chat on the dating site.  He too has a cat.  And he’s had some amazing life and career experiences.  We have several of those in common as well as both being Scottish to a degree.

All is well at that end of this day.  I’ve met 3 men online, all on the I-35 corridor.  One in Minneapolis, one in Des Moines and one not far from where I live.  We’ll see how it goes, there might be a road trip in my future.

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