Ya’ Know….

My social life can change in a split second.  Sometimes I can hardly keep up.  So for both our sakes, let’s check out the current roster shall we?  We have Hawk and Lucky that have completed their cycle.  We have Coach who did not make any points when he showed up very very late for a date.  Then there’s Winkin who just shared a very nice afternoon with me.  Followed by Blinkin and Nod who have both been quite attentive through dating site emails.  And finally Wheels who is the newest to be added to The Binder.

I seem to have a fair number of interested suitors.  That in itself is completely shocking to me.  Life has only seen fit to give me one option at a time before.  And I did my absolute best to completely mess up each one of those.  I’m assuming God either wants me to have a challenge or else He wants a bit of comic relief as He watches me manage this.  Sometimes I have to admit its like keeping a bunch of plates on those poles spinning in the air all at the same time.  And I’m racing back and forth to keep them all in the air without wobbling.  Back and forth, emails, texts, phone calls and meet & greets.  Whew, is it hot in here?  I seriously don’t know what I’m doing.  It’s all trial and error.  But for the most part, I’m having fun.  And that’s what my focus is.

This is where there begins a series of odd events.  First of all, Winkin calls me to thank me for such a fun afternoon.  I was excited to hear from him and equally happy about the lunch we’d had.  Til.. he started talking to his cat.  We were in the middle of a conversation and he just started talking to the cat.  I could hear the cat purring over the phone.  (Here’s the odd part…)  Winkin introduced me to his cat.  He said “Cat, this is Jeannie.. Jeannie, this is cat.”  (It gets better…)  Winkin said “Cat wants to talk to you… let me put him on the phone.”   Now I’ve talked to my granddaughter on the phone and even my friends’ children or grandkids.  But Never someone’s cat.  Seriously?  Let’s just say that this man Loves his cat.  But it was what tipped the scale for Winkin and transferred him to the Done list.

Next in the series is Blinkin…  He called me on Saturday afternoon.  He’d just finished a shift at work and was wondering if I’d like to meet in person.  He asked if I like Carlos O’Kelly’s, and I do.  He said he was familiar with the Super Walmart in my town and said we could meet at the door there.  I was a bit startled by the Walmart comment, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  I did my usual pre-meet & greet closet scan.  I chose jeans, a tank top and blazer.  I thought it was a flexible choice and would be appropriate for the restaurant and I wouldn’t need to wear a jacket.  I opened The Binder to the page that belongs to Blinkin so I can refresh myself about specific details.  He has an adult daughter that lives at home with him, Bachelor’s degree, and like me, is a former foster parent.  Okay, a few good connecting points.  Then I noticed that I’d also written ‘dental issues’ on the page.  Maybe he chose Carlos O’Kelly’s because it’s easier for him to eat.

I arrived at Walmart before he did.  So I lingered in the entry, made small talk with the cart lady, wondered if I had time to use the restroom but decided not to and then I paced.  I should wear a pedometer.  As I turned once again toward the door a tall man with intense eyes was making a bee line straight for me.  I said, “Blinkin?” As he reached down and hugged me tightly.  There was a smell.. cigars I think.  I had to turn my face away from the odor.  As he let go of me and I backed away, he opened his mouth to speak.. and my eyes were immediately transfixed on his mouth.

I’m usually a very welcoming and caring person.  I dont’ generally make judgements.  I meet people every day in my work who are battered and bruised.  And other than showing compassion or asking if they need care, I usually don’t glare at their wounds.  But today.. my eyes are in shock.  I think he had two teeth.  Short of asking him to sit down and open his mouth as I shined a flashlight in there to check things out.. (which I desperately wanted to do) I tried not to be obvious.

He guided me into the Subway station there at Walmart.  (Ya’ know what they say about shock victims, how they dont’ really know what they’re saying or doing?  Well, that was me.)  He asked if I wanted a sandwich as he directed me to a booth.  Oh Lord no.. hungry I was not.  But apparently he was.  I sat in the booth wondering what I should do.  It’s as if I’d completely lost control of what was happening here.  What happened to Carlos O’Kelly’s?  I am not a mean person.  I couldn’t just ditch him. And I didn’t want to be rude and just say.. I can’t do this as I run away in horror.

Now I repeat I’m really not a superficial person.  It doesn’t matter what a guy drives or what he wears as long as he’s clean.  I dont’ care if he’s bald or has a middle-age bulge.  But if you’re gonna meet someone you might have a potential date with, you might want to make a good impression.  Giving me a disclaimer such as “I have dental issues” doesn’t take away the fact that if you want to date me with the possibility of wanting me to kiss you at some point, you should take care of that issue first.  Now if Blinkin and I had been dating awhile and he was in a disfiguring accident, it would be different.  But that isnt’ the case.

He returned to the table and opened up his sandwich.  I tried to make small talk while he ate.  Keep in mind that I’m short and could potentially use a booster seat to be up as high in the booth is most adults are.  So every time I looked up at him to make eye contact, my eyes got caught on his mouth as it was chewing all of those fresh vegetables on his sub.

The meet & greet only got better from there, when he got out his list of stuff to get at Walmart.  I felt over dressed.  The finale occurred at the checkout.  That’s where he ‘made his move.’  He put his arm around me and squeezed tightly.  He leaned down as if he was gonna kiss me.. I turn my head as if he wasn’t!  The worst part, is that it was all taped on a security camera somewhere.  Can we say Done list?


2 thoughts on “Ya’ Know….

  1. Love me, love my cat is one thing but phone conversations? Walmart shopping as a first date? Oh yeah, forgot to tell ya that I have no teeth. Hmm, gives new meaning to blind dates.

  2. Thanks Maxi for your commiseration! This date wasn’t entirely ‘blind’ though, he DID have a picture on his profile. A professionally done photo, quite nice in fact. He wasn’t smiling though and I didn’t give that another thought.

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