When I decided to write this blog I thought I’d be sharing some funny stories about my experiences in online dating. What I’m finding though are the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
Four years ago when I took the one and only writing class I’ve ever taken, I learned about creative distance. That when we first experience something and then write about it, there will be many things we overlook or can’t see yet, because the dust hasn’t settled. And that as time passes, as it has since I began online dating about a year and a half ago, the things I see are more clear and succinct now than what I saw as I was experiencing it.
The men I met and the ‘dates’ I’m writing about in this blog all occurred more than a year ago. I know now how they all turned out. I’m sharing with you what I experienced back then. Now as I write these stories, I can see how I’ve grown as a single woman. I can see how I was working things out inside of me, through each of those experiences.
I didn’t think that I still had more to learn from those ‘dates’. But it seems as I sit down each day to write to you about them, I continue to see even more. Your comments also have been very much appreciated and valued by me. I consider each of them, knowing that they will each impact me. Some inspire me, others encourage me, some teach me. So I say thank you for your input.
As just a side note, each day that I am on a dating site, I get several men who view my profile, some leave winks or messages. I try to respond to each of those with at least a thank you for the message. Another site that I was on did five-minute ‘speed dates’ in which, when you were signed onto the site, you would have live chats that lasted for five minutes. At the end of the five minutes you’d be asked if you were interested in chatting longer or not. Sometimes I’d have five of those speed dates happening simultaneously. It was crazy! So even though I was meeting some potential dates, there were many more who for various reasons, just weren’t right for me. Well, enough of that, it’s back to the rest of the story…..
As Friday approached, I realized I’d be having two actual First Dates on the same day. One at noon with Wheels and one at 7:00pm with Goose. During our conversation at Denny’s I had shared with Wheels that I was also going to be seeing another person from a dating site on Friday evening. He thought that was ‘very cool.” He asked me if I’d give him details. I felt like one of the guys in the locker room bragging up the latest conquest. He said he wanted to learn about how he could be a better date. Now I’m a dating tutor? Lol.
I arrived at Wheels’ home right at noon. He was waiting with that same all over smile. The minute I got in the door he wanted a hug. He said he’d ordered lunch in and had Chicken Enchilada’s waiting for me. Lunch was very good and I have to compliment him for his creativity. After we ate, he got comfortable on the couch and said he’d chosen a movie for us to watch. It was clear that Wheels had a game plan in mind. That of snuggling on the couch for a couple of hours while the movie played. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with snuggling on the couch, but it seemed a bit forward to me for a first date. I sat on the opposite end of the couch as a way to set my boundary. The movie was a very provocative choice as well, for a first date. He had indeed carefully set the tone of this date for the goal he had in mind. However, the tutor in me came out in full force.
I had him stop the movie. And with the push of the remote, class began. I asked Wheels how much dating experience he’d had. And quite frankly he’s had enough to know better than to be so presumptuous on a first date. And I told him so. Now maybe he was playing coy with me. But either way, he clearly knew I was onto his game and not willing to participate. I talked to him about respect and disrespect and which would get him to the goal he was hoping for. I have to give him extra credit points for being persistent though. He never gave up his quest for a little ‘afternoon delight’. Although he never reached the goal, he seemed very pleased at just having the chance to try.