Posted in Relationships - Online Dating

My Lessons in Disguise

It was midday when Goose called me.  He’d been thinking. A Lot.  He was already on his way to Minneapolis to end the relationship with this dancer.  (I fondly refer to her as “Your Minneapolis Girl”)  He wanted to thank me for helping him see.  I reminded him that he is seeing because he’s ready to see.  He asked me a couple of questions and admitted that he was nervous about talking to her.  He knew she’d be upset and he was worried about how she would manage financially to pay things.  I told him that it was his choice to end this or not.  But that I wasn’t willing to move forward in dating him, if she was to remain in his life.  Its my opinion that he is connected emotionally to this woman who is taking advantage of him.  He can date anyone he chooses to.  He can keep her in his life.  But if he does, he will go forward without me.   He asked if he could call me after he met with her.  I told him he could.

Tick, tock.  Here I was minding my own business, checking out guys on dating websites and BAM! I met Goose.  I feel like I’m on the cusp of someone else’s drama. Someone else’s lesson.  (Crap.. I hate it when it’s really MY lesson in disguise.)  Tick tock.  What’s going to happen?  Will Goose really tell her goodbye?  He’s nervous about talking to her… can he really let go of what/who he has known as his anchor for the past year?  Tick, tick, tick…He should be arriving there in the next 30 minutes.  What does it mean if he DOES tell her goodbye?  What does it mean if he doesn’t?  I feel scared inside.  What if he stays with her?  She’s not gonna wanna let go of the money he’s been giving her.  I called Tammy.  Tick, tock.  I took a walk.  I vacuumed.  I checked my phone to see if it was working.  I called Michele.  I read my email, played my Facebook games, checked the dating sites.  It’s been 5 hours.  I’ve heard nothing from Goose.  It’s as if I’m waiting for the jury to return with the verdict.

It was nearly 10:00 pm when my phone rang.  I could see in my mind, the jury filing back into their seats.   And Goose standing there with the sealed envelope.  The verdict is in.   The lump in my throat is blocking my airway.   Will I be chosen?  That’s when it occurred to me.  Whether Goose chooses to remain with the Minneapolis girl or not, I’m already good enough just the way I am.  What I could see, was that in setting my boundary not to continue dating him if she remains, is that  I am choosing myself!  I’m not ten years old and standing there with a group of other kids waiting to be chosen for the baseball team.  This isn’t about whether or not I’m young enough or pretty enough or talented enough for Goose.  I didn’t need to hear the verdict anymore.   But I wanted to hear it…  so when the phone rang, I said “hello.”

I could picture Goose sitting in the driver’s seat heading south on I-35.  It’s late.  It’s dark.  It’s been a very emotional day.   “I’m on my way home.”  The lump in my throat finally went down.  Deep cleansing breath.  “Are you okay?” was all I could think of to say.  “I didn’t think I could do it, but I did.”   Goose kept talking and I heard words, but my thought process was stuck on ‘but I did.’
To be honest, after so many hours had passed, I was pretty certain that Goose had indeed gone and delivered his proclamation that he was no longer the First National Bank.  But I was also a little bit more than certain that the Minneapolis Girl was going to object.  And she did.  With tears.  And counter offers.  I was thinking the pressure she would exert, would pull Goose from the frying pan right into the fire.  He held firm.  It had been his time to learn a life lesson after all.

Goose talked on and on about all of the details of the challenge and how proud he was that he faced it.  He said he’d been afraid to face it so he just never did.  Until today.  He and I had both slayed a dragon today.

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6 thoughts on “My Lessons in Disguise

  1. Whew, I am so glad he was strong enough, 1S, and that he proved himself worthy of you. It can’t have been easy for him to admit that he’s been wrong, or at least too kind-hearted.

  2. Oh Jeannie, what a story so far and hats off to you and Goose for handling it so well. Our hearts can be bigger than our heads and that’s not bad in itself, but it does set-up us up for life to chase us off from the front. Your blog is so comforting and thank you for sharing your story. I don’t think there is any right or wrong here as it’s about staying true and nurturing ourselves, as this enables us to maintain balance within our relationships with everyone. Perfect balance is tricky. Well done both of you x

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