“Why won’t you tell me what you want for Christmas?” was the question on Goose’s mind. When we were at the gift card kiosk at the mall, Goose asked if I wanted the same as he was giving his daughters in law. To be honest, no.. I didn’t. I didn’t want a sparkly sweater, or a new purse. I didn’t want a bathrobe or perfume. What I wanted for Christmas was Goose wrapped in a big red ribbon. No Minneapolis Girl in the back of his mind or flashing with a message on his cell phone. I wish I had the courage to just say those words out loud. ‘All I want is you.’
The Whitney Houston song, “I Have Nothing” states my feelings perfectly..
“Take my love,
I’ll never ask for too much –
Just all that you are,
I don’t really need to look
Very much further –
I don’t wanna have to go
Where you don’t follow –
I’ve been holding back again
This passion inside
Can’t run from myself
There’s nowhere to hide -”
But I tried hiding. Hiding from the Minneapolis Girl’s presence. Hiding from my growing love for Goose. Hiding what my heart was screaming inside of me. ALL I WANT IS YOU!! How could he not know what I wanted for Christmas?! So I responded with the only thing that came to my mind. I looked over at Goose sitting next to me on the couch in his living room, and I replied,
“I have an idea. Why don’t we both contribute to a long weekend away together? We can give that to each other for Christmas.”
Goose smiled, “That’s a fun idea, where would we go?”
That question began a line of dreaming-out-loud for both of us. Goose and I snuggled under the blanket as we talked about favorite places that each of us had been and would like to share with the other. I like dreaming with Goose. Together on the couch, we visited lots of places without ever leaving our snuggle. I feel so happy in his arms.
Goose finally asked, “What are your Christmas plans?”
I told him that my most important family tradition was the Christmas morning brunch. He shared that his family tradition was on Christmas Eve. That he’d be getting together with both of his sons and their partners and the grandchildren for dinner. And he invited me to join him. I was smiling from ear to ear as I said yes.
“My favorite part of Christmas is the late Candlelight service.”
“My church has a late service on Christmas Eve if you’d like to, we can go.”
Maybe Christmas miracles really do come true. Dare I keep wishing?
Alas, the Monday morning routine began right on schedule. The alarm clock, the radio turned on loud. Making coffee. Sealed with hugs and kisses to hold us over til Christmas Eve. Goose left for work, and I jingled all the way home.