A good point! I’ve found out during the course of the ending of my marriage, the things that I don’t want in my life. I don’t want to be invisible. I don’t want to be disregarded. I don’t want to be last on the ‘to do’ list.
I realized that even though I had a husband who came home every night, a husband who worked hard, never got drunk even once in 18 years. There were things that were missing. I wanted a best friend in my partner… the butterflies in my stomach and soul mate kind of connection. Too Disney.. well, I wanted it anyway. My ex husband did have moments where he was able to do those things. So I knew it was possible. He could be very romantic. Once while we were doing foster care, there was an evening I was totally worn out. But we had managed to get a whole night to ourselves. A rare event! I didn’t want to waste it. As I was waiting for my ex to get home, I had been picking up toys and things from where the kids had been playing earlier. I picked up color crayons and a color book.. so I sat down and began coloring a picture in the book. As my ex came in the room, without saying a word… he sat down next to me, picked up a crayon and started to color the page opposite mine. Out of utter exhaustion, we ended up eating leftovers from the fridge for dinner and turned in early. I got ready and snuggled into bed before he came in. When he crawled in bed, I asked him to read to me… he reached over to the night stand for a book. But there wasn’t one there, so he recited from memory.. “Cordoroy Bear had two buttons…” He had memorized the story that he had read over and over to one little foster girl in our care. He recited the story to me.. and I was sound asleep before he ever got to the end.
Why couldn’t those moments happen more often? Why couldn’t he have made those moments a priority? Those were the moments that kept my heart open to his. So, yes.. there was something missing from my life. Maybe Goose has that something.