Feeling certain about my compromise, I greeted Goose with our usual hug and a quick kiss. I saw the surprise in his eyes. It seems that men have this huge unspoken fear that takes hold of them when a womans says, ‘I think we need to talk.” Goose had that fear in the pit of his stomach and a look of surprise crossed his face when I kissed him. He was off-balance now. This was not as he’d expected.
With a smile on my face and a spark in my step, I walked into the kitchen. Goose followed me. I grabbed the pot holders and opened the oven door. The smokey smell of ham wafted out toward us.. mmmmm. I took the cover off of the casserole pan and sprinkled shredded cheddar cheese across the top of the creamy bubbling potatoes. (It’s Goose’s favorite meal, so of course I had to make it now. Now is when it will matter the most.) I suppose you’re all thinking I’m evil for pulling out all of the little manipulations I can think of. Is it any different from a man bringing flowers after a quarrel? I think NOT! I made an apple crisp too, he has a sweet tooth. As Goose watched me place the dessert in the oven to bake, I think he realized what was happening. (Apparently he’s been in this very position before?)
“You wanted to talk about something?” He got right to the point.
“Yes I do. It hurt me very much when I was thinking you had finalized things with the Minneapolis girl and that wasn’t the case at all.” I continued, “Since you are going to continue to have her in your life I think it only fair that I continue dating other people as well.”
A stunned expression appeared on Goose’s face. (He hadn’t thought things would take this turn.) “Alright” he replied, with a rather satisfied tone in his voice. He’s relieved that he doesn’t have to defend his position with the Minneapolis Girl.
(We’ll just see how alright this is… won’t we? Ahhh, we certainly will!) I handed Goose two glasses of ice water to set on the table. He walked into the diningroom rather satisfied with his position. I was satisfied too.
We sat at the table savoring each bite, OR contemplating this new development for our relationship. I don’t know exactly what Goose is thinking. But I’m certain that he needs to see how it feels to have to share me. To wonder where I am or who I’m talking to or who I’m spending time with. I was certain he wouldn’t like it anymore than I did. Its my hope that he’ll learn this particular life lesson soon and ask for a change of circumstances on his own. (That’s when a simple bit of conversation created a major turn of events knocking us both off-balance.)
To prevent indigestion I thought it wise to lighten the atmosphere a level or two and I began a bit of small talk, asking Goose how the roads were on his drive here.
“Other than some spotty ice, the roads were pretty good” he said, taking another fork full of potatoes. Goose continued this course of conversation, “Did you and your son have a nice weekend?”
“Yes, we did. I took him to a movie last night and then today when his dad came to pick him up, I had lunch made and we had a nice transition for a change.”
“You mean he ate here for lunch?”
(A strange feeling is erupting over the table) “Yes, I made spaghetti and after lunch, they left. I got a nice walk in by the lake before I started our dinner. It was a nice afternoon.” I chattered away trying to ignore his puzzled expression.
Goose put his fork down next to his plate and said he was full. He pushed his chair back away from the table and went into the livingroom. (Mind you that’s about four steps away in my little apartment.) I was thinking this was a very odd display for Goose. He’d never not finished a meal before. Especially turning down dessert.
I cleared the dishes from the table and took the apple crisp steaming from the oven. I set it aside to cool, and put the dishes in to wash. Goose did not follow me. I wasn’t exactly sure what was happening. Now I’m off-balance. I feel like Dorothy Gale from the Wizard of OZ. Thought she’d show them. Thought she knew what was best. Then the unexpected happened and she’s headed right in to a ‘whopper of a storm” and she doesn’t know where she is. It seems I’ve lost my way in my own apartment.
I went back into the livingroom and sat near Goose. He’d been quietly watching television while I was in the kitchen. He’s always helped me clear the table before. He must be very upset in his quiet, withdrawn way. But he sure wasn’t talkin’ bout it. I asked what he was watching. (I don’t think he had any idea.) He muttered something and then cleared his throat. “I think you’ll get back with him if you give it some time.”
(Well, there is it.. finally. He’s worried about my ex having lunch here today. Sitting at the same table a few hours ago that Goose has been eating at now. That’s why he didn’t finish his dinner. It seems he’s a bit unnerved. Could he be jealous? Already?) The storm clouds are churning and swirling. Hold tight in those ruby slippers my dear. It’s gonna be quite a ride.