Posted in Relationships - Online Dating

With a Kiss And a Hug

Dating is all about getting to know another person.  Their likes and dislikes.  Their dreams and their fantasies.  When I began my life on my own, I wasn’t sure what I wanted in a relationship with a man.  I knew from trial and error what I didn’t want.  The rest was sort of murky.  And the most difficult part is that during this whole online dating process.. I’ve wanted different things at different phases of my journey.

I began by wanting to fall in love.  Wanting to be desirable and attractive to men.  I had felt so unattractive and unwanted that I doubted that anyone could possibly be interested in me.  I certainly hadn’t been, for a very long time.   Match.com for me, seemed to be the first site that every newly single person went first.  The site was filled with people looking and waiting.  Looking to see who else was out there.  Looking to see what was attractive to me now.  And what wasn’t.  Waiting for someone to flirt, wink or email.  The problem was that everyone was waiting and very few were taking action steps.  I’ve been viewed on Match by thousands of men over the past year and a half.  Out of those thousands, I actually met three from Match.  One I met only once.. Hawk.  One other I meeted and greeted and found an acquaintance.  It never developed past the possibility of friendship.  Fizzled.  And I met Blinkin and we ended that date at the checkout at Walmart.

I met two men on Singlesnet.  Goose I dated for three months.  The other I met in person once.  I chatted with several others online through the dating site, but it never proceeded to meeting in person.

Speedate lead to dating Archer and The Editor.  Both of those relationships were rather short-lived.  Again many, many speeddates happened before even those connections were made.

Christian Mingle, OkCupid didn’t lead to any connections at all.

Chemistry.com lead me to both Winkin and Nod.  Nothing past the Meet & Greet happened there.

AshleyMadison lead me to three of my very best connections.  I met Teddy Bear and Sherlock on this site.  I only met with Teddy Bear that one time.  Sherlock.. well what can I say..  I guess I can get on with the story and you’ll know!

My evening with Sherlock culminated with a tour of his work site.  Yup.  He took me to work.. got me in past the gate and past the curious onlookers.  I toured the ‘behind the scenes’ area at the United States Postal Service at 1:00 in the morning.  It’s a pretty busy place in the middle of the night.  I did discuss with him the missing mail I was expecting from South Africa.  My son had a school project.  You might be familiar with Flat Stanley.. he’s a paper doll.  And each student was to mail Flat Stanley out there somewhere with a project for the person on the receiving end to complete and mail back.  Well my friend Thys agree to receive Flat Stanley. Thys took Flat Stanley to all sorts of places in South Africa.  Thys took pictures of the adventures and then mailed Flat Stanley back here to Iowa.  That was over a year ago.  I put Sherlock on the mission and with the clues he could uncover, he discovered that Flat Stanly cleared US Customs on Dec. 26, 2010… and has sadly never been seen again.   (If  anyone sees a lonely and displaced paperdoll out there in the world dressed in South African attire.. send him home.. my address is on my home page.)

Sherlock and I met up the next day at Barnes & Noble in Eagan.  We shared an afternoon cruising the dating sites on my laptop.  The Voyeur in Sherlock wanted to see what other men’s profiles online looked like.  What kinds of things do they include on their profiles?  So I showed him.  We drank juice and laughed and judged and criticized.  (It wasn’t very nice, but it was extremely fun. In all fairness, I did not show him any of the profiles of men I’ve met or dated.)   Then as the afternoon began to fade our ‘date’ ended in the parking lot.  This time no rubber mallet or shovel and no Colonel Mustard.  Just a very nice hug and kiss goodbye.

Sherlock and I have become friends.  We email and catch up every now and then on the phone.  Sherlock joined me for lunch on my deck at the lake last fall.  And one gorgeous afternoon this past November I made a trip to take pictures for the blog.. and Sherlock met me.  We split a reuben sandwich and wandered through the campus at St. Catherine’s.  We took pictures of the gargoyles and knockers and even a pair of rockers on a veranda.  We had to wait patiently to get the shot of the knockers because someone had the audacity to get married that very afternoon and had the bright teal doors opened wide to the sunshine and warm fall breezes.  While we were waiting, we took a couple of pictures.. just for your enjoyment.  So with Sherlock’s permission I’ve included a couple of them here for you.

Emergency Sex Button

FYI.. the Emergency Sex Button did not work.  Sherlock pressed it over and over.  Not one college co-ed appeared to help him.

Sherlock Holmes Fall 2011

Intelligent, inquisitive, adventurous, creative and curious.  My Friend Sherlock Holmes.

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