Creature of Habit

Today was a Monday.  That should say enough right there, but then you’d miss out on the silliest thing I’ve done in a long time.  Because it was a Monday, I had my usual Monday plan in full gear.  In fact, I followed my regular Monday routine to a tee!  I dropped Hunter at school and went to my office.  Sounds good so far you say.  Yup, I’d agree with you.  Except.  My ex husband dropped by my office with a couple of things I’d asked for that Hunter needed.  Then he said, I thought I was supposed to have Hunter tonight because you have to work late?  That was the kicker.  He was right, I did have to work the late shift tonight, but here I am all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and at work at 10:00 am. 

Of course I couldn’t just turn off the lights and make a fast exit before anyone else knew I was there.  The telephone rang.  It was a client needing to talk.  But after that, I made my get away.  I got home just as the last of the fog had burned off the lake.  I changed my shoes and grabbed my MP3 player and headed out for a glorious walk.  I had the best time.  I felt all energized and refreshed when I returned. 

That’s when I noticed my landlady was there spraying for weeds.  She told me that her handyman would be coming to fix a leaky patio door in my bedroom.  She thought he’d just be taking it out. 

Hmmm… now my bed is pretty close to that particular patio door.  And it’s a sunny day and all, but it might get just a little brisk with the winds blowing in off of the lake in the middle of the night.  Not to mention birds or bats.  (I didn’t mention them either.)  But I did comment that the leak had occurred last fall and it hadn’t leaked again since then and I’d be moving out in one more month anyway. 

My Creature of Habit had struck again.  I wanted things to remain the same.  I wanted constancy and the expected.  This ‘fix up job’ had me all off-balance.   How was I going to sleep after working late into the night, when I’d have a repairman standing at the side of my bed when I open my eyes?  How will it work with no wall in my bedroom while they’re removing a patio door?  Will it be covered with a sheet of plastic?  Will it be warm?  Safe?

I’ve also been creating a lot of changes of my life.  Soon to be leaving my job and my house by the lake.   There have been changes too in my personal life.  And testing for Hunter and the changes that’s created. 

Then I watched last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy.. and it all made sense.  I love Meredith Grey and her epilogues at the end of each episode.  This one was just what I needed to hear today. 

“You can’t move on til you let go of the past

Letting go is the easy part

It’s the moving on that’s difficult

So sometimes we fight it

Try and keep things the same

Things can’t stay the same though

At some point you just have to let go.. and move on

Because no matter how painful it is

It’s the only way we grow.”   ~Meredith Grey

Even with all of the things I’ve willingly chosen, like leaving my job and my house, there are other things that I’ve tried to keep the same.  Like how long I stay at my house.  And how the house will be for the last month that I’m here.  And I’ve fought to keep a relationship the same when it wasn’t possible for it to remain that way.  Even my work schedule, although I’m pretty flexible, today’s schedule change threw me out of sequence for awhile.  

As Meredith points out, things change.  With our cooperation or without it, they change.


5 thoughts on “Creature of Habit

  1. Very true, we may want something to happen, but most of the time we are just like the audience in a theatre, we watch what happens without having any influence whatsoever.

  2. Opening the bars of our cages and learning to fly..very scary but life offers us opportunities…you are taking them Jeannie…love you xxx

  3. Jeannie…

    Anticipation has hold of your hand, pulls you through each day now. Loosen your fingers, let go…

    It’s a new beginning.

    Fun, adventure, and many blessings, my friend – Maxi

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