“People are a gift we get to keep for awhile, but not forever. This is true for everyone I meet.” ~ from the book “Life Lessons” by Elisabeth Kubler Ross
Just like everyone, I’ve had many beginnings and endings in my lifetime. Every person I meet adds something special to my life. I hope in turn, that I do the same for them. Today I was asked a question, “Can we still be friends?” Yes, the dreaded question that often comes at the end of a love relationship. I think the question comes because endings are sad. And it’s asked in order to diminish a little bit of the loss. It leaves a door cracked open. A sense of hope.
This is a man I love. Circumstances changed shortly after we fell in love. And our ‘relationship’ went into a holding pattern. We all know that life doesn’t work that way. It’s not like getting a phone call and putting the caller on hold until you have time or it fits better into your life. In relationships, as in many other things, an opportunity presents itself and it either works for us or it doesn’t.
“You have the choice of bringing a little or alot of love to each of your relationships.”
I’m a passionate person.. I have passion for everything I do. I’m passionate when I’m happy or excited. I’m passionate when I’m angry or sad. I’m passionate when I sing in my car and when I’m working with clients. I give my all with gusto. But there is another side to being passionate. It means that you open yourself up to experiences. You become vulnerable. You take the great risk. Sometimes there is a great reward for the risk taken. Sometimes there is great sadness when the love isn’t returned or when it is withdrawn.
There are lessons to learn in every relationship that we have. Not lessons for or about the other person. Lessons are for us and about us. And when we are ready to learn the lesson, the new teacher or person will appear in our life.
People tend to do one of two things with their relationships. They either throw out the partner rather than working at the problem. Or they remain in relationships that don’t work because we hope that they will change. We’ve also been taught that every relationship should work out. Everything in life has a cycle… a beginning, a middle and an ending.
“If you want love, tenderness and affection in a relationship but you have chosen a person who clearly can’t give it to you, its time to choose someone else. Don’t allow people to be reckless with your love, your heart, and your tenderness.”
Living with extended sadness or even suffering does not benefit anyone. Nor does it prove the depth of the love felt. It’s important to remember that ALL relationships will end. Some relationships will last 50 years, others 5 weeks. Regardless of their length, all relationships are valuable and teach us important things about ourselves.
When relationships end, that doesn’t mean that they’ve failed or been unsuccessful. It simply means that they have completed their purpose. Therefore ultimately in their ending, they are successful.
Recently a relationship in my life ended. It was successful. I have memories of wonderful adventures, romantic dates, hysterical moments, tenderness, encouragement, and love. I have the those gifts to carry with me. And I”m so grateful for all of them.
Dianne gave me the greeting card pictured above. It says, “When the going gets tough.. the tough get waterproof mascara.”