One of my coworkers (yes Lorie, it was you!) asked me today if I’m getting excited for my upcoming trip. And yes, of course I’m very excited and looking forward to my adventure. But because I tend to be open and honest, I had to give her the rest of it too.
I’m scared silly! There I said it out loud. Even though this is a trip I’ve wanted to take for a long time. And even though I’ve also wanted to go to the Writer’s Conference for years. There are some parts of making a life change that are very hard. Even though this is something I want very much, there are things I will lose. Things that have held great importance for me. Like my job. And my house on the lake.
Sure I could have taken two weeks of vacation and flown out for the conference and returned to my house and my job. BUT. The goal for me wasn’t to leave writing as a hobby. Instead, I want to make it a focus. So I recognize that change means loss. Loss of one thing and a gain of something else.
I’ve had to stay away from naysayers and worry warts. Not because they might be 100% right. But because I might actually begin to believe them and wonder if I am crazy for doing this. I might be kinda crazy over a lot of things. But I’m certain about this trip and the conference.
Its more than just a trip to me. It’s a transitional journey. The one that takes me from here to .. well, there. I don’t know where ‘there’ is just yet. But I will know by the time I’ve driven 5000 miles. I believe that. I have faith in myself. I have faith in the journey.
It’s why people run marathons or take pilgrimages, or sail boats around the world. Because for each of us we’re reaching for a goal. A worthy goal. And even if we don’t win the marathon, or walk the whole pilgrimage or make it all the way around the world in that boat. We will still have succeeded. Because we tried.
That’s much better than forever having the regret of wondering ‘what if?’