Well, he isn’t 07-29-56. But brunch was nice. We enjoyed some interesting conversation. We have several things in common such as a similar career history. He’s well-educated with a double masters, loves music and travel. We also have differences. Enough to keep learning new things. He’s very laid back and that greatly contrasts my sometimes exuberant personality. We’ll see if that tempers both of us.
I met one other fella recently. He asked to meet one evening after work for a drink. It was a snow storm but we met all the same. Due to the weather, the club was pretty quiet which was nice. It allowed us to be able to talk without having to yell our responses back and forth.
From the frequent ‘Hi’s’ he got from people at the bar, I gathered he frequented this place regularly. We shared the usual life details, ‘where did you grow up, what do you do for a living, hobbies, families’, etc. It felt more like an interview than it did a first date. He’s a business owner, loves to travel, read, has a spontaneous personality, is rather good-looking and very sociable. At the end of the evening, he asked for my number and said “Let’s do this again.” He walked me to my car and offered a hand shake.
I’m not holding my breath or sitting on pins and needles waiting for that phone call.
End Update – Begin Rant
I do have to say that dating has changed. Or maybe people have forgotten how to date. The effort and investment seems to have disappeared from the process. What I mean is.. neither fella has attempted to ‘court’ me. Neither greeted me with a flower, neither called on the day of the date as a way to begin the excitement of meeting them. I take that back.. brunch guy did call to say he was leaving home and would call again as he came into town. (He lives a few miles away). It was more to nail down the time frame than to express any anticipation in seeing me.
The first time we met, brunch guy met me at the door of the restaurant and greeted me with a hug. The second date he was already sitting at the table when I arrived. He almost got up, but then changed his mind.
Club guy never got up from the table. (Except to get another beer from the bar.) He did shake my hand though, which made it feel more like a board meeting than a potential date.
I’m disappointed. I don’t wanna ‘meet you there’. I don’t wanna be texted, sexted or emailed. It’s one hour of your life the first time that you meet me. First impressions count. Even if you think I’m the ugliest woman who ever lived you owe it to both of us to be a gentleman. Even if I know from the get go, that it isn’t a match made in heaven, I’m still polite, friendly and will laugh at your jokes, even if they’re lame.
I want to be courted. I want to see that a fella has made an effort on my behalf. I want to know that he finds me worth it. A flower costs less than a dollar. I don’t care if you get it at the grocery store. It shows an effort. It shows respect. And it will keep me thinking of you every time I see it in the coming days.
I want to be picked up at the door. It gives you the opportunity to learn so much about me, by seeing the way I live. Aren’t you curious to have a glimpse into my life? To see if you might want to be a part of it?
Of course the show of effort and investment works both ways. Am I dressed appropriately for the event? Have I gone to the effort of looking nice just for you? Am I on time? Once we’ve gotten to know each other, I’d love to make you dinner or bake something special just for you.
Dating is an art.
I hope I find an artist.