While I’ve been standing still here in the fog, I’ve had lots of time to think. I remembered a book that I read some time ago called “Life Lessons” by Elisabeth Kubler Ross. I decided it might be fitting to re-read the chapter on Loss. It was just what I needed. I was reminded that all relationships end. And in endings we feel sadness, along with a host of other feelings as time goes on.
Something that struck me is that even though a relationship has ended, even though it’s usefulness and importance in our lives has come to a close, the relationship had a purpose for us and the other person involved. So I thought about my losses. Lots of people have come and gone from my life. Teachers and friends from school. Neighbors and coworkers. As life had carried me from one lesson to another, one experience to another there are losses and new beginnings. One follows the other.
In order for something new to come into our lives, there must be a space for it. Life has a remarkable storeage and purging system that has been expecially created just for us. It’s much better than my semi-organized store room. Sometimes the Christmas deorations end up on top of the summer flower pots. You get the idea. My organizational sills are not as well planned as what life has in store for me. And I need to learn to trust that there is a better plan for me, knowing exactly what I need at any given time. Better than any plan I possibly could have for myself.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the losses that appear in my life. Friends move away, coworkers move on, that special relationship becomes not so special anymore. It’s a signal to me that I have new opportunities on the horizon.
Feeling the losses is very important. It lets us know how much someone or something mattered to us. How much impact was made in our lives. Sometimes we have the choice to end relationships, and sometimes the choice is made for us. Either way there’s an ending. I’m challenging myself to learn to manage losses with grace. Accepting that the end of a relationship doesn’t mean the end of my well-being. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t worthy. It doesn’t mean that I wasn’t deserving. It simply means that the lesson of that relationship has been learned. It’s served its purpose. And there’s something or someone new coming along bringing with them a new bag of lessons to learn, joys to share and happiness to experience.
I’ve been stubborn. (I know… it’s hard to believe.) Sometimes I try to avoid losses. I try to hold them off. Prevent them from happening. I’m tellin ya.. it’s really painful when you do that. It messes up the flow. It prevents the new things from coming with the new lessons and blessings. I think I’ve put my life on hold by hanging on when I’m supposed to let go.
Well, look at that. It seems the fog is starting to clear.