Posted in Lessons Learned, Relationships - Online Dating

Time to Review


While I’ve been standing still here in the fog, I’ve had lots of time to think. I remembered a book that I read some time ago called “Life Lessons” by Elisabeth Kubler Ross. I decided it might be fitting to re-read the chapter on Loss. It was just what I needed. I was reminded that all relationships end. And in endings we feel sadness, along with a host of other feelings as time goes on.
Something that struck me is that even though a relationship has ended, even though it’s usefulness and importance in our lives has come to a close, the relationship had a purpose for us and the other person involved. So I thought about my losses. Lots of people have come and gone from my life. Teachers and friends from school. Neighbors and coworkers. As life had carried me from one lesson to another, one experience to another there are losses and new beginnings. One follows the other.

In order for something new to come into our lives, there must be a space for it. Life has a remarkable storeage and purging system that has been expecially created just for us. It’s much better than my semi-organized store room. Sometimes the Christmas deorations end up on top of the summer flower pots. You get the idea. My organizational sills are not as well planned as what life has in store for me. And I need to learn to trust that there is a better plan for me, knowing exactly what I need at any given time. Better than any plan I possibly could have for myself.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the losses that appear in my life. Friends move away, coworkers move on, that special relationship becomes not so special anymore. It’s a signal to me that I have new opportunities on the horizon.

Feeling the losses is very important. It lets us know how much someone or something mattered to us. How much impact was made in our lives. Sometimes we have the choice to end relationships, and sometimes the choice is made for us. Either way there’s an ending. I’m challenging myself to learn to manage losses with grace. Accepting that the end of a relationship doesn’t mean the end of my well-being. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t worthy. It doesn’t mean that I wasn’t deserving. It simply means that the lesson of that relationship has been learned. It’s served its purpose. And there’s something or someone new coming along bringing with them a new bag of lessons to learn, joys to share and happiness to experience.

I’ve been stubborn. (I know… it’s hard to believe.) Sometimes I try to avoid losses. I try to hold them off. Prevent them from happening. I’m tellin ya.. it’s really painful when you do that. It messes up the flow. It prevents the new things from coming with the new lessons and blessings. I think I’ve put my life on hold by hanging on when I’m supposed to let go.

Well, look at that. It seems the fog is starting to clear.


13 thoughts on “Time to Review

  1. I love you Jeannie and I think we let go when we are ready too and not a second before. A lovely post and sometimes putting the Christmas decs on top of the summer pots means we get to remember happy memories when we move them in a different season. Acknowledging the gifts within the lost connection focuses on the tinsel and that is no bad thing. Happy fog clearing my lovely Xxxx

  2. I love you too Jane. We literally have a dense fog warning here, hahahaha! Crazy weather can’t seem to make up its mind. Fortunately MY fog is lifting.
    Watch for incoming hugs!!
    Jeannie xxxxxx

  3. So very true that I wish I’d written it! I have a friend who needs to read this message. Sadly, I don’t think my friend would ever take it to heart. We can’t grasp the new as long as we’re holding onto the dust of the past. Look! My hands are empty and ready.

    1. Richard,
      My hands are empty too.. not so sure I’m ready for them to be filled just yet. But I’m getting closer.
      Its the hands empty part that scared the silly right out of me though. Its what I was avoiding by holding on to an ending far longer than anyone should. I held on until the pain became unbearable. How silly is that?
      My holding on, my pain and sadness… it did nothing to change the situation. It did nothing to change what was possible in that relationship.
      I was hoping that he would see my value and hold on to me. I was hoping that he’d see what an amazing woman I am and not let me go.

      The lesson was that I had to see my value and I had to see what an amazing woman I am.

  4. You are definitely an amazing woman and this post proves it! Such a great insight into what it means to really find oneself by easing up and letting go of things that need to be gone. It is hard, though, and it takes time. Don’t beat yourself up if it takes longer than others think it should take. You’ll get there without a doubt.

  5. Your eyes are wide open with this post, Jeannie. You realize in spite of all that has happened in your life … you have purpose and value.

    I keep these words by my computer…

    Worthy Woman
    I am grateful for the life I have—I am living:
    Happy, joyous and free
    Being the best I can be
    Learning how to love me

    Love yourself Jeannie, for the wonderful person that you are.
    blessings ~ maxi

    1. Richard,
      What an honor this is to have my writing reblogged on your site. It means so much to me. Thank you.
      I hope you have a great weekend,

  6. It’s amazing to go to see this site and reading
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