Ya know… its funny how I realize things sometimes. I was just reading the responses from my last blog. There was a reply I gave to my friend Jane. I was explaining to her that we literally had a dense fog warning here. That it wasn’t just the internal fog that I found myself standing in. My reply was ‘the crazy weather can’t make up its mind.”
Then it hit me.. (that brick wall that rises up out of nowhere so that we can splatter right into it) because I was so busy doing the things I do every day. I didn’t realize. It’s me that’s crazy cause I can’t make up my mind!
So God in all of His hysterical-ness (I know I’m on the heaven entertainment committee) gave me a living example to get my attention. About a week ago I had an interview. It’s a job I applied for soon after I relocated here. It’s a very fitting position for my career experience; there’s potential for growth in my skill; and potential for longevity with great retirement benefits.
Out of the blue (or perfect timing in God’s plan) I got this email inviting me to interview for the position. I called the number listed to arrange the interview time. I chose the last available time slot. (I wanted to be the last candidate on their minds.) It went well, very well. I was contacted shortly after the interview to report to Human Resources to sign paperwork allowing for background and reference checks.
Forward progress right?! I could see it and feel it and was so excited to be stepping forward in my life. That’s when it happened. Yup. The past. Came sneaking up out of nowhere. (Or God’s perfect timing as He checks to see if I’m ready.)
As I was leaving the Human Resources appointment and walking back to my car, I had all these thoughts racing through my mind. There are now 3 open positions and I was given the option to consider which would best fit for me. Each position of course offers different pluses and minuses. So I’m bopping my way across the parking lot, mulling over the details of each option. I cross the street, get in the car and release the parking brake cause I was parked on this steep hill. I pulled out of my spot and headed to the store to get ice cream treats for the students at work this afternoon. As I reached the summit of the hill and the stop sign, I looked in my rear view mirror. (Okay I had to look twice!) There was Scott. In my rear view mirror.
It’s not a well-travelled side street. Little traffic actually unless for some odd reason you’d have business in the same building I was in. I turned the corner. Scott followed (I was watching). I hadn’t seen him for quite a while, so it sort of stunned me that he was right behind me. I briefly wondered if he’d been following me and now wanted to be seen. He’d texted me about once a week since I ended things. (I suppose his way of keeping a little bait floating in the pool of the past. Just waiting for me to nibble and get hooked.) I hadn’t nibbled. I’m proud of myself.
I took a deep breath and stopped looking in the mirror. It didn’t matter if he was there. Because he’s behind me. And the future, my future, is just up ahead. I stepped on the gas. Oh, and the ice cream treats were on sale!