Posted in Relationships - Online Dating

Thinking About Stuff

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I’ve been so busy this past week that I’ve hardly had time to think about stuff. Today seems to be that day. Tammy knows that when I’m thinking she’s bound to get a couple phone calls. Most of the time she’s my sounding board. (Sorry Tammy!) I’m grateful for her brave and ongoing friendship.

I began my newest job. I had orientation a week ago. It included 45 minutes of computer class. Directions were given to access the intranet, email and website. (I know I wrote my password down some place.) Then it was on to Human Resources for the usual tax forms and payroll deposit info. I got my picture ID and keys to access the areas I’ll need. Then we were given a pizza lunch with a couple of lovely videos on safety. Finally, I got 35 minutes of actual time where I’ll be working. That’s not exactly true.. I got 35 minutes in my boss’s office listening to the tail end of a staff meeting.

I did however spend a few hours later in the week and over the weekend at my actual work site. The people I’ll be working with are hysterical, very kind and empathetic. That’s what you get with us social work types.

Then I have my regular job.. it was a good week. I took my co-staff out for a breakfast staff meeting. The three of us get along fabulously. We brain-stormed a few ideas and implemented them later in the day. We had preparations to make for the Family Fun Night fund raiser that was held last Friday. (We all three volunteered.. it was so much fun!) To top it off, the weather was amazing last week with temps in the 50’s. We took the students outside each afternoon to chase around on the playground.

Back to Family Fun Night.. I was helping in the food area mainly cashiering and assisting the lovely young man from The Italian House. They catered the event for our agency. The aroma from the tortellini and garlic bread filled the whole building. We had a DJ at the opposite end of the dining area, so I bopped along to the music all through my volunteer shift. The event was a huge success for the families who attended.

I could use some feedback regarding the single’s group I’ve been asked to facilitate. It seems there is a bit of dissention among the members with the inevitable changes that will occur as the current leader, Doris retires tomorrow night. I suggested that we hold an Appreciation Dinner in honor of the 25 years that she has committed to the group. During those 25 years she was involved in some matchmaking that produced 49 marriages! Yeah Doris!

The problems seem to revolve around the current balance of members. The bulk of the group are now coupled. It’s no longer a single’s group as such. Doris has shared her concerns about this with me. Many of these couples have been attending the group events as couples for several years. And this seems to have curtailed new singles from remaining past their first event. So Doris and I brought this up at the meeting last week.

Well, you know how change freaks people out. There were 25 freaked out people staring back at us. All of the coupled people are quite aghast at the thought of returning the group to singles only. One coupled member did say that since none of them were married that they were indeed single. I clarified that there is a very distinct difference between a person who is single and unattached vs single and attached. Lets just say that my clarification was not met with smiling faces. I tried reasoning with them by reminding them about when they first attended the group as unattached singles. And how each of them eventually met their partners right there at group. I went on to explain that the singles that are coming to the group now don’t return because there are only 5 unattached people at most meetings. I reiterated that as an unattached single, we have most of our meals alone, go to movies alone, travel alone, etc. I offered that if I want someone to go to a movie with on the weekend, there isn’t anyone from the group I can call.. male or female. Because everyone is attached.

The evening ended with no understanding, no resolution and certainly no positive outlook for this week’s meeting. (I can hardly wait.) One member had requested that we have some events outside of our regular meetings. So I set up an events calendar. The first event was to be last Saturday evening. A movie night. One person RSVP’d. We’ll see what happens with the Friday Night Fish Fry I have scheduled in a couple of weeks.

Doris and I stayed after last week’s meeting to discuss options. I shared that I realy needed to consider this turn of events before I agree to proceed. I’m working two jobs and that leaves me two evenings free each week. Do I want to be spending my only free time facilitating a group and an event on those evenings for couples? Or should I be spending my free time in a way that will provide some enjoyment and relaxation for me?

I have done some thinking about all of this. I came to the conclusion that it’s alright for me to want to spend my free time with other single adults. To meet and build friendships with other adults who are living single.

So if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions, they’d be very welcomed.

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6 thoughts on “Thinking About Stuff

  1. Last week I went to the grocery store to buy an item that turned out to only cost me 99 cents. When I opened my wallet I found that I only had a $20 bill. I struggled with making the purchase. Did I really want to break the $20 for less than $1?

    We dislike the idea of change because of what we believe it “breaks.” We’re looking at what we anticipate losing rather than what we are gaining.

    I bought the 99 cent item anyway. I still had my $20 … just in a different form.

    1. I have to agree with you. I see change as what it can bring or open up for us.

      I would like to have the couples in the group branch off still allowing the fellowship for them to continue. This way they don’t lose anything by the ‘change’. We’d be adding to or growing rather than limiting anyone.

      1. With all these work and home changes for both of us our Skype chats have taken a ‘hit’…we can sort that one! Love you, Xxx

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